Things That Pissed Me Off This Month (February Edition)

• The Super Bowl halftime show. First, any time you can book a pedophile for the halftime show, you have to do it, right? Yes, according to the NFL. Pete Townshend’s research interests aside, what does it say about society when the halftime show is a ten minute commercial for the network broadcasting the game (CBS). That’s right, the two songs played by The Who were the theme songs from CSI Miami and CSI New York. Are you fucking kidding me?
• Apolo Anton Ohno: Man do I hate me some Apolo Anton-Fucking-Ohno. First, only assassins get to use three names. It's a rule (see: John Wilkes Booth & Lee Harvey Oswald). And second, how is this guy, who participates in a sport nobody cares about for all but two weeks every four years, the biggest US "celebrity" athlete at every Winter Olympics? Third, the goatee. I mean, look at it!
• People who come into work sick. Look, if you're making minimum wage and you don't have any benefits, let alone paid sick days, I'm not gonna hate on you. However, if you make more than me and have about two weeks of sick days you could be using, then we have a problem. And have you ever noticed it's the same people coming in sick over and over? Why are these people always sick? Could it be the extra 50 lbs they're packing? Their lack of exercise? Their diet? I drink like a goddamn homeless man and I get the flu once every two years!
• Guys who wear tuques when its warm out, strictly as a fashion accessory. I fucking dare you to find me a guy who wears a tuque indoors (while he has a t-shirt on, for example) or during the summer time who is NOT a douchebay or a homo. I promise, you will fail in this endeavor. I was at the gym the other day and I actually saw a guy come into the gym with one of those "stylish" floppy toques (here's an example of one: http://tinyurl.com/yawox46) He proceed to go into the changeroom and change into a DIFFERENT floppy toque. Yes, this fucking douchebag had two toques, a day-to-day toque for outdoors and an indoor "workout" toque. Look, if you're Rocky Balboa and you need to drop weight for your match against Ivan-fucking-Drago then go ahead, wear a toque while your jumping rope in the gym, but if not, be a man and leave the toque for the emo girls! Damn, I thought I left this kinda shit behind when I left Victoria!

When PIIGS Fly (And By 'Fly' I Mean 'Fail')

Here's my thinking on Greece. All the talk of a Greece bailout misses that point. Greece is only one of the Euro zone countries faced with unmanageable debt loads. Spain is also in trouble and is a much larger and important economy (and don't forget about Italy, Ireland and Portugal). We've seen how this played out in the US. Back in 2008 the first victim was Bear Stears which was sold (for pennies) to JPMorgan with an assist from the US govt. Then Lehman was on the brink but was allowed to fail (somebody had to be taught a lesson...just nobody with ties to Goldman). Then AIG was going down in flames but AIG was too big to fail, so the US coughed up $80 then $185 billion for AIG (a chunk of which went to AIG's counterparties). Then Citi needed help...etc. etc. The point is the US govt was putting out fires as they happened and each crisis placed the entire system in jeopardy. And you never knew when the next fire would start. The difference with Europe is you've got 16 separate countries which would have to be involved in any bailouts...not quite the same thing as having a bunch of ex-Goldman bankers who control the Treasury and Fed engineer a bailout, is it? Say a Greek bailout is announced Thursday...when's the Spain bailout? Keep in mind unemployment in Spain is 20%...you're going to cut spending with 20% unemployment? I don't think so. Yet, Spain will have to cut spending to qualify for an IMF loan or an EU bailout (if possible)...I can picture the riots in Madrid as I'm writing this. Even if the PIIGS can trim spending, their credit ratings have already been adjusted downward so their borrowing costs are increasing...how much of the spending cuts will be offset by higher borrowing costs? Oh and in case you haven't noticed, the same scenario faces the US in the near future (and Japan and Britain). Add in the fact that hedge funds and other speculators are betting against Greece using credit default swaps the same way they bet against Lehman and you know how this ends. As a result, I say short the Euro zone much like I'm shorting the S&P. Here's one option: http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=epv