Only in Texas

Each morning, while I'm going through the news articles for the day, I try to catch a few minutes of the Adam Carolla podcast, which is generally a hilarious rant about whatever happens to be on Adam's mind that day. Periodically, he does a bit called "Germany or Florida?" where he reads the details of a news story and asks where the story takes place: Germany or Florida? His thinking is that generally when crazy shit happens it happens disproportionately in either Germany or Florida. I have a similar bit I like to call "Only in Texas" which highlights the craziness of the Lone Star State. The place has always been a little different but today I came across a story that is truly great. First, a couple previous examples.

• On April 12, the City of Allen Texas approved a $120 million bond to pay for a 18,000 seat high school football stadium. How big is the City of Allen? 77,000 people. And this, during the worst recession since the Great Depression!
• On April 14, a man in Garland, Texas was sentenced to 15 days in prison and five years probation after pleading guilty to stuffing a lead weight into a bass during a fishing tournament last fall. Because there was a $55,000 prize for first place,the man was charged with attempted theft over $20,000.

Granted, those stories might be worth a chuckle or two, but the awesomeness of the following story is off the charts. This morning, a co-worker forwarded me a story about Texas Governor Rick Perry (http://tinyurl.com/3xkz797). It seems the Governor was out for a job with his dog when he happened across a "wily coyote" (his words). What makes this an "Only in Texas" scenario is Governor Perry likes to take his jogs strapped with a laser-sighted .380 Ruger pistol filled with hollow tips (tevlar piercing rounds). I think you can guess what happened next. Said coyote approach him and his dog and Perry 1) allowed time for his laser sight to charge (seriously) and 2) put one round into the coyote which "became mulch" (Perry's words). Words cannot express how great this story is. Laser-sighted pistol? Check. Hollow-tips? Check. Repeated use of words like "holler"? Check. Use of the word "Reckon"? Sadly no. (Quick tangent: Reckon is one of those words you just don't hear enough of these days). The lesson, as always: don't mess with Texas.