Text Message Analysis 101

Some of my greatest ideas flow in the form of drunken text messages. These are not examples of such ideas. They do however say a lot about the people involved.

The following text message conversations took place Sunday morning.

Person A: “I’m chillin at the beach.. damn I can’t wait til we’re doing this in the Okanagan”
Person 1: “I'm puking in the dorms at Gonzaga.. damn I can't wait til I’m doing this in the Okanagan”

Person A: “I’m chillin at the beach.. so nice out right now”
Person 2: “Crown?”

Person A: “I’m chillin at beach.. you should be here man”
Person 3: “You know it’s a good party when you pass out on the couch and the cops show up three times”

Knowing nothing else about the people sending these texts, one can deduce the following:

• 'Person A' loves the beach and likes to rub in the fact that Persons 1-3 are not at the beach.
• 'Person 1' is living the dream. May have a drinking problem.
• 'Person 2' hates life and everyone in it.
• 'Person 3' has an incredibly short attention span which often causes him to ignore others. Certainly has a drinking problem.